I Wanna Get Better: Conversations on Therapy, and Where They Fall Short
Illustration by Nina Slykhuis-Landry
The start of this decade will be one to remember, and certainly not through rose-tinted glasses. COVID-19 shows no signs of slowing down, and Canadians are facing the virus’ second wave. Aside from the virus, citizens around the world are mobilizing against the systemic racism that continues to pervade society. There is also the question of the impending American election, which has become a centerpiece of discussion (and anxiety) in recent weeks. To survive is to thrive under these conditions, but we need more than a motto to carry us through - especially when experts are identifying an unprecedented mental health crisis that is directly related to this suffering. What is to become of us all as the winter approaches? How are we expected to cope?
Years before this escalation, therapy (also known as psychotherapy) was breaking into the mainstream unlike any other technique. The world has continued to open itself up to conversations around mental health. Many of those who cope with mental health issues now have a stronger inclination to share the techniques that get them by. Celebrities that we recognize as beacons of confidence have admitted to their experiences attending therapy, normalizing this process for their doting fans. This shift in dialogue has made our authentic feelings easier to share - which is especially welcome as physical connections continue to strain under quarantine. Day by day, we have moved towards a sense of collective vulnerability.
The overarching goal of therapy is to improve an individual’s mental health. By extension, this contributes to an overall sense of self-improvement. Through this commitment, you are guided through understanding more about yourself and your experiences, and you strategize for a brighter future. Activities that may fall under this web of self-improvement are defined by several aspects, including commitment, an action plan, and an evidence-based approach.
What we understand as psychotherapy can take many forms; there are common talk therapies such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavioural therapy (DBT), there are creative therapies, and more. Other forms of self-improvement are similarly diverse - the Depression Center at the University of Michigan suggests many activities that do not adhere to a traditional structure of psychotherapy.
Regardless of the treatment you choose, what is clear once you go through these motions is that the journey is a marathon, not a sprint. The progress may not be linear, but what matters is that you’re working on yourself in the first place. Working on ourselves is the greatest project we’ll never fully complete.
And we are meant to do just that - work on ourselves. Being mindful that different experiences will warrant different approaches to the work involved. Yet there is a growing pocket of self-help discourse that reduces the conversation to an idealized vision of therapy. Social media is hardly the place to go for nuanced perspective, but the “go to therapy” argument has made itself unavoidable in these spheres.
Whether this reductive attitude is for Internet attention or because the greater point of therapy has been lost among us remains to be known. What we do know is that the use of memes and humour has completely changed the way we talk about therapy. The popularity of both self-deprecation and transparency in mental health have skewed this conversation. But there is nothing to laugh at, nothing to be won from turning collective sadness into a pointing game. Whether or not there is serious intent; this act of prescription can end up hurting the conversation and is not always productive for everyone.
What feels especially cruel about this bias is how often it comes from a place of privilege, and how it pits people against each other. There are those who can afford the cost of psychotherapy, whether paying through an insurance plan or out-of-pocket, and there are those who cannot. Free and sliding-scale services have continued to pop up, but these services are often underfunded and overwhelmed. Being 15th on a waiting list does nothing for an individual who is struggling right now. Effective therapy will also require cultural competency, and the lack thereof has been widely observed across mental health care. Compare this lack of cultural competency with the dire need for it presently, when our social climate is bringing systemic racism to the forefront. This makes the decision to pursue treatment that much more complicated for marginalized populations.
Another major problem that emerges from the therapy-driven discourse is that in its rigidity lies the assumption that therapy is always working. A false dichotomy is established, as if therapy presents the ultimate cure. Regardless of a client’s treatment, they are supposed to be in the driver’s seat and take these steps for their own life. Much like any other treatment, there are those who commit themselves to therapy and put in the work, and those who do not or cannot. When in therapy, the client may have unrealistic expectations or a fear of commitment. Clients are not always receptive to their therapist.
Likewise, the therapist may not be a right match for the client - and a good match is needed if progress is to be made. Mental health care as an institution has long presented its own systemic problems - it is not wrong to want to avoid this. In some instances, therapists can contribute to the issues their clients are facing. This was my situation.
As a teenager, I attended psychotherapy for three years, and the experience was unfulfilling. Looking back, I can recognize that a few therapists pushed boundaries and seemed to feed me answers. I chose to keep coming back because it felt like where I was supposed to go. I wanted to believe the solution was there.
But the solution can be anywhere if you try new things and follow what feels right. Over the past four years, I have moved away from the structure of psychotherapy. When my insurance coverage changes, it may no longer be an option. Right now, my toolkit includes setting boundaries and making room for creative expression. Both of these strategies have made a world of difference to me, and I plan on making them a priority.
Science tells us that mental health may also be improved by taking better care of our bodies. Research suggests that regular physical activity appears as effective as psychotherapy for treating mild to moderate depression. Endorphins can be released from a variety of other techniques, such as meditation or acupuncture. Diet and mental wellness are inextricably linked - though certain ‘junk foods’ will provide short-term joy, regular consumption has been linked to a worsening of mood disorders. These are complementary strategies, but their potential has been proven. They can help to achieve the same goals as psychotherapy.
What we can probably all agree on is that therapy should be more accessible for everyone to try. Healthcare is a human right - this should include mental health care. In a better world with stronger systems, diversified therapies would be available to all because mental wellness is in everybody’s best interest. We have evidence to prove that when our society invests in mental wellness, productivity is maximized and our economy saves big.
But this is not the system we are working with, and until it is, we need to speak with humanity and be mindful of experiences outside our own. This mental health crisis will surely get worse before it gets better, and we cannot afford to fight each other. More than ever, it is integral for us to build community in conversations on mental health. We have nothing to gain from this discouragement, and everything to lose.
- - -
Resources
Mental health is incredibly important to preserve, especially in the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, the following resources are great places for immediate support:
Crisis Services Canada is a resource available to all Canadians in need of mental health support. They can be contacted toll free (24/7) at 1-833-456-4566. They also provide text support (4pm-12am ET daily): 45645
BetterHelp is a resource that provides direct-to-consumer options for mental health support. BetterHelp is available around the world, and can be accessed from a computer, tablet or smartphone. Get started at betterhelp.com.
The LifeLine app offers a wide variety of mental health resources to Canadians, all for free. Providing direct access to a wide variety of crisis support services, resources for suicide prevention & awareness, and more. Get started by visiting their website.
Hope for Wellness is a resource available to Indigenous Canadians in need of immediate crisis support. Telephone and online support are available in English and French, with telephone support also available in Cree, Ojibway, and Inuktitut. Call toll-free at 1-855-242-3310 or connect to the online Hope for Wellness chat.
CheckPoint’s website provides a large directory of mental health resources for Canadians, Americans, and more. Resources are listed by country, and there are also several services available for folks around the world. Visit this directory at the link.
Please note that for longer-term supports (such as therapy), one of the best steps is to contact your general practitioner and discuss the available options. The resources disclosed provide immediate support, but may not be a good stand-in for other strategies.
Rebecca Judd is the features editor of Also Cool Mag.
Nina Slykhuis-Landry is a Montreal-based illustrator, cartoonist and mural artist.
Related Articles
