loneliness moments

stir the cardamom into your tea and wait

think about weyes blood all day

love yourself silly

all the energy you’ve been searching for

in spring it’s early morning always

you’re out walking

hoping someone will tell you something

dark and heavy

you can sit with for a while

a song comes on about longing

go to a coffee shop and waste the afternoon away

writing nothing in your journal

just watching the pen needle loop

calling landlords

surprised when they’re expecting you

someone says hey three times you realize they’re

talking to you

blocking off the hallway

talking about endings

wondering when they’ll be real to you

the power’s out and it’s exciting

just you and the wood floor and the wind whistling

your boyfriend breathing heavy and the table shaking

finding warmth under duvet

peeling tape up from cardboard

turn your phone off for an hour

wishing the plums were sour

enough to make you pucker

it’s okay until your roommates leave for the weekend

just you and your cat running laps

the frantic dep employee

the neighbour you spot on your walk home from groceries

long enough to remember being 18 again

wrapped up in bed all day

you could have died in that apartment

no one would have noticed

Olive Andrews (they/them) is a poet living in Tiohtià:ke (Montréal). Instagram I Twitter

This is the first of three poems they’ll be sharing via Also Cool. Their work has been published in a number of magazines, including PRISM International and Plasma Dolphin. Their debut chapbook, rock salt, was published with Baseline press in 2020. They are currently interning at Canthius mag.

Artwork by Olivia Meek AKA Regularfantasy Instagram I Paintings I Design

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